new twist to an old story

Well my life has taken a new twist in the past week - something pretty unexpected so now I need to shift gears and change a mind set.  It involved pain and some heartache but as I said before in that wilderness - how am I going to deal with it?   I can so feel prayers of my close people as things are feeling better inside, but have to rely on God for each moment of every day - if I lose sight of Him, I go down.  Reminds me of a song by Twila Paris called "The Warrior is a Child".  Sometimes people think I am strong and I can be, but sometimes the warrior in me runs home when I fall down, and it gets hard to get up again and again.  God is in Control and He sees all & knows all before we do and we can fall into His arms to be comforted and get a big pep talk to go out again.  I can't do this on my own - always need His help.

Easier Said than Done

I recently talked about wildernesses we go through in life.  As long as we are here on earth, we will always
have them.  The question is:   will we be better or bitter for going through them?  It is so hard to lay all those cares we have on God.  If we could just realize that He already knows what we are feeling and even more
He knows the outcome.   Picture Him sitting in a chair and we are standing before Him telling Him all about
our troubles.   He so patiently would listen and then say perhaps - "My child - I already know and I am here for you no matter what - to love you, comfort you, heal you, guide you, BUT you have to let those worries go.  They do you no good, but to steal your peace and make you unable to take care of the things that are most important to Me.  I need you to remember Whose you are and what You are here for - to show others about that peace that you have, that peace that nothing else compares to."    
And yet it is easier said than done because we often say after many tears and turmoil within ourselves, we say "Ok God, I will trust You  in this situation......(and a pause here) .....BUT I think it would be good for me to do this or that to help things go faster or better"   Let go with both hands!!!  I for one have come through a situation here or there and said  - I worried for nothing.  If I had just trusted God in the first place, and let Him do His work in the best way possible as He does, I would have not suffered so much trying to do things my way.  There is a verse I just came across from Psalms 94:18-19.  "Your love , O Lord, supported me,  When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul'  All we have to do is ask.   I KNOW - it is easier said than done.

reunion in the city

Last weekend I had the privilege of getting on the Amtrak and heading to Chicago for the weekend with 9 of my classmates I graduated from 8th grade with.  I moved away  then  but came back in the area last year.  As I got settled after a while, I began to reconnect with a few of them so suggested a dinner together. It blossomed into a girls weekend in the city and since we all turned 60 this year we decided to call it our Still Sexy at 60.party.  Little did I realize what an awesome weekend was in store for us.  When we met at the station, there were a few I had not seen for 45 years so it was a happy reunion along with the excitement of the time ahead.  One of our group bought us all pink boas to wear which really assisted us in keeping track of each other anywhere we went as well as being the topic of conversation as people wanted to know what the occasion was.  (There was also a trail of  pink feathers wherever we went).   For some of us who hadn't been together for a long time - we became  closer  as we shared our lives, good & bad times and how we got where we are today.  We shopped a while at Macy's, went to a play that was excellent - Million Dollar Quartet.  After that we had a crazy cab ride to Maggione's where as we waited for our table, sat around a piano bar and listened and sang to some favorite songs.  Meal & company was great, but we all congregated to one of the girls rooms for a chat session - we left those young childhood years and shared where our older lives had taken us and what we have learned and still learning about life.  It also made us very aware that life is very short and we all know that we were making some very cherished memories that might not ever come again.  Plans for next year are already in the works - the pink boas will be stored and used again.  Thanks to all my girlfriends who shared this time with me  - we will never be the same and will treasure our time together. PS:: Chicago will never be the same either!!!  Every time I hear the train whistle now it brings a smile!

Good , Bad & Ugly or Marriage & Divorce

Years ago when I was going through my 1st divorce, I remember my counselor telling me that repercussions from it would show up later in me & my children.  Well, guess what ....they are here!  I see a family that was so close in the early years become distant and unforgiving enough to the point of not speaking to one another.  How do you undo all that?  It can only be done with a lot of prayer & believing that God can change hearts.  I raised my children well and they know better, but life has dealt them some hard stuff that
makes them bitter and unyielding.  I can hope  that some day soon they will realize that family is as important now as it was then and these are the people we cling to when things happen.  Unforgiveness can fester inside a person so long that it becomes like a cancer that eats away at you inner being - BUT God is an ultimate
Healer and He is so much a God of second chances.  We have to swallow our pride and hurt and let God renew & restore so that those ties are not broken anymore.  I copied this piece from a book - think from
"The Shack" - its says:  The Lord is so much better at this business of forgiveness than we mere mortals could ever hope to be, we're the ones who should be modeling His method, no the other way around. The Lord forgives s unconditionally.  He doesn't need to sit & think it over, withholding His compassion, His mercy, and His grace.  He doesn't cling to His grudges like we do, reliving them daily reminding himself how He was hurt or cheated or disappointed by someone as frail & flawed as we are.  He forgives & wipes the slate clean.

A new month

It seems time is flying by - well no it actually is.  I have had such an unusual weekend I am almost at a loss for words here which is not like me, although I tend to be a very reflective person.  Despite all of our frustrations in life and setbacks, one thing remains constant and never changing and that is God.  He is always there - watching us stumble along, trying to do things our own way, but never condemning or turning His back on us.  Yesterday a pastor spoke on things that get in the way of our worshiping God and being totally His with everything - in our stubbornness, we say "OK God, but.........and we hang on to something and reach out to Him with one hand not two.  It is His anyway - if we are His child.   God is not a vending machine where we can go ask, put our money in and say " I want that, but when I want it, how I want it, and on my terms."    How dare we - after He gave His son for us - so we could live. 

new & old

Well today I meet my nephew again after many many years.  I am very excited to connect with family members like this, especially since my brother, his dad, passed away several years ago.  I have begun to reconnect with school mates from 40+ years ago and friends from here in the area.  How do you know what to say when so many years have passed and many things have happened to people in that time?  It is like a certain timeline went on for awhile and then stopped to remain unknown and then all of a sudden there it is again.  You can't pick up where you left off, but just fill in the blanks as best you can and then cherish each new moment you have.  People say not to live in the past, but it is ever present in our lives when that is
part of who we are now and will be.  As I get older, I am learning to appreciate people more that are important to me.  I guess it is good to age for that reason - older & wiser?  I think we all should start at a younger age.   

Staying above the clouds

Somtimes it is so hard to stay above the clouds of our everyday rush in life.  We plain just get too busy for our own good and forget to take time to do the important stuff.  The other day I was waiting at a stop lite and just said a prayer out loud as such:   God, I love you and I need you....but sometimes I feel that life is just whirling around too fast and I need to be still & savor the moments of quiet and solitude.  Our job, our home, family life can get so busy that we can't seem to settle down our thoughts & our bodies long enough to remember that God is in control of everything whether we realize it or not.  He is the Man with the Plan!!
Another thing that is hard to get a hold of is the fact that as I get older, everyone else is too....lol..... and again we can forget to slow down a bit and remember what is most important - savor every day as your kids become adults and parents,  and we watch them struggle in life as we did.  It really hurts to let them go the first time but it never stops - each day takes them away from you as they make their own lives. All we can do is leave them in God's Hands for protection now as we did earlier in their lives.  
Please slow down & take time for those whom you love & that love you - it really matters.